I celebrated the completion of my finals by posting snippets about your mom and each of my four (other) classes.

I hypothesized that we were below the socially optimal level of mom-murder. (Don't worry, we're not now.)

I rammed your mom at the 5% significance level.

你妈妈怎么样？

おれはあんたの母さんをやりて、くろした。

Your mom integrated the principal branch of my function.

The residue of my pole of degree 7 in your mom is difficult to compute.

Your mom was analytic everywhere.

I expanded my principal part in your mom's singularity.

I posted a somewhat self-indulgent list of silly jokes the day I finished my complex analysis exam.

Your mom needs a lawyer who will do whatever it takes.

Your mom internalized my moral lesson.

The Craven

With (insincere) apologies to Edgar Allen Poe, this is called, The Craven:

Once upon a midnight lonely
as I rammed your mother solely --
solely on account of she's a misbegotten whore,
And as her ass I was a-tapping
suddenly, there came a rapping,
as of somehow tightly strapping --
strapping your mom to the floor.
"'Twas the wind," said I, "and nothing more."

Starter Pack

Your mom made my manmohan singh.

Your mom raged against my machine.

Your mom did a little dance around my maypole. Then she took a big drink of my maypole syrup.

Comedy is tragedy plus "your mom" jokes.

Why your mom keeps crawling back

You may remember that period in middle school when the appropriate response to any question or remark was, "Your mom." Among more elaborate statements of this simple sentiment, there were a couple varieties: assertions that your mom is fat, stupid, ugly, or all of the above; or that the speaker slept with her, and that she liked it.

Most people got bored of these cracks pretty quickly, and so did I. But while my peers abandoned your mom entirely, to pursue other verbal fads, I started looking for ways to make talking about your mom a little more interesting. In the years since those earliest days of your mom, I've explored the confluences of such divergent fields as your mom's legs. (Also: your mom and terrible puns, your mom and major English writers, your mom and numerous mathematical disciplines, your mom and the works of Edgar Allen Poe, your mom and current events, your mom and popular music, and perennial favorites your mom and exceptional cruelty.)

All of the "your mom" jokes (if jokes they be) on this page are my exclusive intellectual property unless specifically noted otherwise. Copyright me (at date of posting or earlier), all rights reserved. That said, though, if for some unfathomable reason you'd like to borrow one of them, please, please drop me a line -- leave a comment, or follow my profile link and send me an e-mail.